It’s been a week now, so I think I can talk about it. I don’t have my Jersey milk cow Gracie any more. I sold her. I spent the last week feeling really sick about it, just a pit in my stomach. Let me tell you the story.
We got Gracie in December 2010. She birthed and we were in milk. The training was difficult. It was her first time being milked, and my first time milking a cow (though I already knew how to milk goats). Behavior aside (eventually she calmed down, for the most part), another issue was that she didn’t let her milk down readily . She saved it for her calf, who shared the milk with us. And also, she has small teats, so the milking time was quite long — 45 minutes to an hour — and I couldn’t even get out all her milk.
Some days I declared I’d had it and I was going to sell her. Some days I felt I’d put so much time into her already that I would stick with it.
Come November 2011, friends shared a milking machine with us and it made all the difference in the world. Overnight, milking changed and was doable. We settled into a more efficient routine. We got more milk and in shorter time. I thought, “Okay, I can do this.”
By March 2012 (just recently), we dried Gracie up for the last months of her second pregnancy. The break was fantastic — not having the milking routine was a wonderful rest. It wasn’t nearly long enough.
Then she gave birth on May 17, 2012 and we were in milk again. It was exciting. This time around I knew what I was doing, she was better behaved, and we decided to bottle feed the calf to avoid the whole won’t-let-down-her-milk issue. I knew it was going to be so much better.
But it wasn’t. She didn’t want to be milked by machine. She had tons more milk (due I think to more efficient milking right at the beginning) — milk which had to come by hand. Want to know how long it was taking me to milk her? I really don’t know — because I was quitting each milking at over two hours! And that had to be done twice a day! She was so full of milk and her teats so little and I couldn’t do it any more.
So I made the heartbreaking first step toward selling her. Selling her was easy, actually. God had a plan already worked out. *this part gives me chills*
I asked friends who run a herdshare (Wholesome Family Farm) if they were interested. They were, and in fact had waken up that very morning thinking they would try to get another cow that day. We worked out the exchange, and they took Gracie home to their herd that day. Though she is still warming up to their machines, it sounds like she’s doing well there. I hope so, anyway!
So that was the story. Now how about I answer some questions I think you may have.
How am I doing? Well, I’ve felt sick about the whole thing for going on a week now. My emotions run between failure and shame, to relief and freedom. A little bit of missing Gracie. And some more of feeling like I abandoned her.
What will we do for milk? We are participating in the Wholesome Family Farm herdshare.
What did I learn? That my next milk cow better have hand-milking size teats. Even if I do milk by machine, I want a cow that I can milk by hand efficiently if need arises. I want a cow that my children can milk more easily, too. But — we’re not actively looking for a milk cow right now, and I don’t know when I will.
Okay, let me hear it. What do you think? I know you’ll be kind, and thank you for that, as I’m still feeling fragile and burned-out. 
On another, more cheerful note, I am writing this post from Phoenix-area, Arizona. I’m here getting some help with a back-end software switch. Boy, is it hot! Do you live around here and want to get together for dinner tomorrow evening (Tuesday)? Contact me and I’ll forward you the info about our group plans.
This post is shared with Simple Lives Thursday.
About Wardee Harmon
New: 
Two hard 'g's and stress the middle syllable. 
Mini cows = much less milk.
Mini cows = much less milk.
I think you are wonderful. I’m sorry for the stressful situation, but I’m so proud of how you handled it. And I’m thankful that you see the Lord’s work and blessing in the situation, too. He does take care of us! Now enjoy the break, enjoy the milk share and keep an eye out for God’s leading and timing in the next adventure!
^ What she said!
Hello, Wardee.
You did the right thing! Your children need you more!
Whew, it sounds exhausting. I’m glad you are not doing that adventure anymore.
It sounds to me like you made the best decision for yourself and for the whole family. There’s a lot which needs to be done to maintain your homestead, and it sounds like one activity was eating up a LOT of time. Certainly you have also learned a great deal from having Gracie.
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Sounds like such a tough decision. So glad you’re getting a reprieve.
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Wow. What an awesome growing experience! I find the most difficult things are often things that make me grow the most. And while you might feel like you failed, you didn’t. You put her in the best place for her and you in the best place for you. Thanks for sharing. As for the Back-end software switch, I was really confused because I saw back-end switch and thought most people don’t go to Arizona to get what they can get from behind the shed. lol
WHEW, I have to hand to you for your stamina and determination!!! I would never have had the patience. But, you did the right thing, I think. The next cow will be more cooperative!
What happened to the calf? It’s so CUTE!!! I love little calves.
Keep us updated on your next milking adventure.
Don’t beat yourself up too hard, when you get the next cow, you won’t miss Gracie as much. One sure does get attached to those critters tho………eh?
Wardee,
I am sorry you are having an emotional rollercoaster ride with deciding to give Gracie away. I know you really cared for her or you would not have had such a tough time with the decision and even now after placing her into a good home that you trust will treat her right. I will be praying for you to find peace and comfort in your decision.
I am so glad you are so real and put this on your blog! I know you did the right thing for you and your family and you have certainly, once again, helped me.
I’ve been debating getting a milking cow, but the work involved is what was holding me back. We get our raw milk from a Mennonite family that lives nearby for $2.50 per gallon, which is a great price, I think. Probably the work and the money involved in getting our own cow is not really prudent. Maybe someday, but not now.
Thank you!
$2.50!! Wow! I can get fresh milk for $5/gallon if I drive two hours, but most folks in my area are paying more like $12/gallon, and we are in a semi-rural area, even.
Yeah, I pay $6.75 for a HALF gallon.
$2.50 per gallon is cheaper than even the yucky stuff at the regular grocery stores. Is the milk from grassfed cows? If it is, then you are getting a screaming deal – enjoy!!!
I am getting grass fed milk from my neighbor for $3 a gallon. I cannot be thankful enough. I cant believe the prices some people pay! We use 4-6 gallons a week.
Hi Wardee. Thanks for sharing. I can understand your mixed feelings. Guilt should not be one of them. She is a cow and will be fine wherever she is as long as she is treated well. You can try it again and with your experience can take your time to find the RIGHT cow at your leisure AND when you’re ready to try it again.
It’s great that you have a cowshare program.
Hope you enjoy(ed) the nice warm weather in Arizona.
Based on your experience, would you recommend others trying it?
Thanks!
I think you already gave it enough of a try to decide to sell Gracie. Honestly speaking, I don’t think I would’ve held out as long as you have.
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I agree with everyone here! Plus, it is so cool that she went to the place she did and that God had it all worked out ahead of time! You guys did a great job with her and are an inspiration to many. I have often thought of a mini-cow for our family but know that now is not the time for us but hopefully someday. We are blessed to have two sources of fresh raw milk nearby at reasonable costs too.
I can’t believe you stuck with it as long as you did! I can’t imagine how hard that was! As someone else said, if you get an old world jersey cows, or mini cows, do give less milk, and eat less grass. They are a lot easier to care for, and are the traditional jersey size.
Hi Wardee,
I’ve relived the selling of our milk goats through your post. I felt so much anxiety and guilt when our circumstances changed and I was no longer able to milk them. Selling them was the right call though I still miss them. You get so bonded to them from daily milkings. Hope it passes soon and know that you made the right choice for your family.
I so admire your honesty and sharing!
I’ve taken the ecourse on making cheese and all the information you share is amazing! It helped me tremendously when we got our two dairy goats.
Some things on our homesteads just don’t work out as planned. I know I put expectations on myself and find that I need to re-adjust and re-think certain aspects. I almost laughed out loud seeing the picture of your sweet cows udders. I just cannot imagine it! I stand and applaud you for trying. Wow! Talk about perseverance, Wardee.
I would be ‘processing’ my own thoughts as well, but there’s no condemnation here.
God give you the strength, grace, and wisdom for your homestead. You surely inspire me in learning and growing in this food venture~Blessings to you, J.
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Wardee, You gave it more than ‘the old college try’! Those teats look awfully small and I can’t believe you toughed it out as long as you did! Just breathe God in and breathe God out, he provided for your needs and will continue to do so…
Thank you so very much for sharing. I want a cow & don’t know anything at all about keeping one. Knowing the true experience of a faithful mom helps a lot. I feel that I’m getting a real picture of what it might be like. I also know that it takes an amazing person to humbly admit that something isn’t working and find the positive resolution. You are an amazing inspiration. Thank you for sharing your lovely spirit.
Lydia
I’ve been going through this for the first time with our 2 Nigerian Dwarf goats. They just kidded for the first time, and I thought I was prepared, BUT learning to milk, while they learn to BE milked, plus bottle feeding babies in the house (while homeschooling, and all the cooking, and gardening, and running my business, and potty training, and being pregnant) literally added 4 to 5 hours to my daily chores. I was not at all prepared for that. It’s been almost 4 weeks and things are better (less crying!), but I’m really anxious to get the babies sold, and milking is still taking 45 minutes – you think your cow’s teats were small, try extra small teats on a mini goat!! Thankfully they have less milk to get out – but my better producer (gives 3 to 4 cups per milking as a first freshener!) has teats the size of the last joint of your pinkie finger!! Thankfully I have a willing 6 yr old who’s hands are the right size, so he helps me – but I honestly can’t milk her on my own. I love having the milk, but am rethinking breeding them this year. I hate to pay for feed though, if they’re not giving milk in return – but I don’t know how realistic this all will be when I have a new baby!
Oh Wardee! Bless your heart. I know you’ve had issues with Gracie since the beginning. This had to be such a hard decision, but the right one. That was proven by the fact that God had it all worked out.
I completely understand. Lynette’s teats are very small. We’re using her for a nurse cow this year and she’s loving it. Natalie is still over-achieving giving 8 gallons a day and our heifer Nosey (Natalie’s daughter) is giving 5. I thank God for my machine every day and that Nosey came into the stanchion to be hooked up to it without a hitch. I’ve milked by hand, but with this quantity, there wouldn’t be enough hours in the day. Thank you for sharing and enjoy the rest.
Aw
Poor Wardee and Gracie! I think it’s so neat how it all worked out though. I love when that happens!
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I wanted to get a milk cow. I wanted to get milk goats. My husband said, “NO.” He said it the way I know there is no other answer. His mom had done the milking thing. He’d seen all the work and knew that buying the raw milk that we do from a local farmer is so much easier…and worth it. With all the canning, animals, home-schooling, plant nursery that we have, enough is enough. I know it’s got to be hard to say goodbye to such determination, but I honestly think you won’t regret it…too much.
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Oh Wardee, I think you are being much to hard on yourself! It sounds like you did the fair thing for everyone involved. 4 hours a day of milking time is much to much for all involved. I understand missing a member of the farm, but it sounds like she is in a wonderful situation and it couldn’t have gone smoother. Give yourself a huge pat on the back for the experience you had and thank the Good Lord that you can move onto other things now!
Have you thought of purchasing goats? They give less milk so there would be less work in the end.
Hi Wardee !!! My heart goes out to you for this difficult decision, but know that God is in control. Sometimes with these difficult decisions, it’s His test to our faith. Just trust that there will be a wonderful lesson that you will understand very shortly and take comfort in the fact that God is Love and he never forsakes or abandons us. It will all work out for good. Trust, lean on, take comfort in that truth. You were blessed to have the experience of Gracie in your life as was Gracie to have you as her “keeper”. You continue to enrich and nourish so many lives and we thank you for that. Sending wishes for extraordinary grace to surround you like and shield and to comfort you in an atmosphere of Peace.
Hi Wardee! We are very new to the milking world…. my idea, but the hubby is doing all the milking
) She was actually my much requested birthday gift (I’ve wanted a milk cow since I was little). I’m in charge of the milk and cream once it magically appears in the refrigerator. I love your website for this very reason!!!! I milked a goat with small teats and it was miserable 
( Gracie will be just fine and you’ll be able to visit her. Now you can get back to “normal” life 
) Ah, wished I lived in Arizona so I could take you up on your dinner invitation. If you’re ever around Northwest Missouri, I’d love to meet you!!!! Blessings, Denise
Oh this is sad, but I am sure you will be happier with another cow. Please find one that has been a once a day milker. It is so much easier, and while you can sometimes transition a heavy producer into a once a day milker, it is better to already get one that is used to that. Also grassfed only, no grain, in case you were feeding grain. Good luck in your search. We are greatly anticipating our Jersey to give birth any day now and long for milk, butter, cream, cheese, kefir, whey… All the best things in life. I also hand milk her, once a day, and her teats are small in the back, so I’m not looking forward to that, but once a day is so much better.
thank you for your blog.