RFQM: Scoby Gone Wild

For today’s Real Food Quote Monday (RFQM), I’m sharing from the Winter 2009 issue of Wise Traditions, the quarterly publication of the Weston A. Price Foundation. This is a hilarious letter to the editor about a Kombucha scoby (the mother culture) gone wild…

A KOMBUCHA STORY

While picking up my weekly milk order from my farmer I mentioned that I wanted to return a quart jar to her for more cream but that all of mine were full since I had made so much kombucha recently. She asked whether I had any extra “mushrooms” since she wanted to start making it again. That led to a discussion about the mushrooms themselves. She uses hers three times then throws the oldest one away and cuts her others into smaller pieces and then uses those three times, etc. That way she’s always using fresh mushrooms. When she first started making kombucha, someone told her that they were good for septic systems so she was flushing her old mushrooms down the toilet.

A couple years later the septic tank guy came to empty out her tank, and he opened it up to stick the hose in to start draining it, but he couldn’t. He was totally baffled and had to get out his knife and hack away at the large, tannish, leathery thing that was floating at the top of the tank! She was quite sure what it was and she was quite sure she was not about to tell him! Can you imagine? A kombucha mushroom the size of a septic tank! If only someone in the sci-fi industry knew about SCOBYs!

Lee Burdett
Alemonte Springs, Florida

Pretty funny! My whole family was rolling with laughter when I read this aloud. And what’s the lesson here? Your scobys are good for your garden, your goats, your other animals, but not your septic system! I sure hope those little bits of scoby that inevitably go down my drain are not taking over our tank.

About Wardeh

Wardeh ('Wardee') Harmon lives in Oregon with her husband, Jeff, and their three children, Haniya, Naomi & Mikah. They garden and raise a dairy cow, chickens and goats. Wardeh is passionate about traditional cooking. She writes books and teaches online classes in traditional cooking, sourdough, cultured dairy, cheesemaking and fermentation. Follow Wardeh on Google+.

Comments

  1. Millie says:

    Too funny!
    I always think about the sprouting seeds that end up going down the sink drain. I have visions of my entire drain system plugged with hairy little sprouts.
    .-= Millie @ Real Food for Less Money´s last blog post… Menu Week of February 14 =-.

  2. Marly says:

    That story is so funny! I’m going to be thinking about it for a long time, Wardeh. Thanks

  3. Laura says:

    That is very funny! And a good tip. Thanks!
    .-= Laura @ Rejoicing Evermore´s last blog post… Adventures in Traditional Cooking: Kefir Cream Cheese =-.

  4. Amy says:

    I don’t even want to think about what they had to do to clean out that septic system!! Oh, my – a nightmare!

  5. tracie says:

    I’ve thought the same about my sprout seeds and my uncooked beans that fall prey to the kitchen drain. Nice post
    .-= tracie´s last blog post… Taking risks =-.

  6. Paula says:

    I’m always freaking out about our septic tank and possible problems! I wonder if milk kefir/yogurt washed down the drain will either hurt or hinder the tank?
    .-= Paula´s last blog post… 47/365-Happy Mardi Gras =-.

  7. kanmuri says:

    Ahaha, that must have been quite a surprise! Your post got be confused at first because in Japanese, konbucha is tea made from konbu, a type of seaweed!
    .-= kanmuri´s last blog post… Post Vacation Blues =-.

  8. Kelly says:

    Hahahahah……that is hilarious!
    .-= Kelly´s last blog post… How to Take Action Photography =-.

  9. tonya says:

    Wow! Do you think that really is bad though? What do you suppose it was doing to everythimg down there? We are always adding our stuff down there to help it break down, right? That is wild:)

    • Wardeh says:

      Tonya – It is wild, isn’t it? Ordinarily, I think a scoby is a great thing – it is doing what mushrooms and worms do – breaking down stuff. But I suppose no one would want a scoby blocking their septic system – that would be counter-productive. ;)

  10. Amy says:

    I have the same question as Paula – I’ve always wondered if any kefir grains that go down the drain are helping or hindering my septic system. Anybody know?

  11. Connie Fletcher says:

    Wardeh………I started the kombucha from the scoby you sent me, and it’s been three days, and it tastes good, smells good, but no fizzy yet…..any advice???

    • Wardeh says:

      Connie – is it still very sweet? Give it more time. Because it is winter and could be more cool, don’t judge by fizz – judge by taste. It should be getting less sweet.

  12. Jennifer Cooper says:

    That’s gross.

  13. Connie Fletcher says:

    Just tasted my kombucha and YEAH….IT’S GETTING LESS SWEET!!!!!! Now, will it get fizzy?

    • Wardeh says:

      Connie – it will be more fizzy in warmer temperatures, or if you bottle it securely when it is done. Use Grolsch bottles – regular jars will explode with the built up pressure.

  14. Alex says:

    Eh, people flush down scoby and kefir grains? What’s the problem with eating them? Seriously, I think kefir grains are delicious. My kids keep bugging me about me making more of them so they can eat them. They’re like gummy bear sours.

    As far as scoby, I used to eat that too, it’s got the consistency of konjac/agar-agar. Just eat them folks! They’re better for your plumbing then your house plumbing! :)
    Alex recently posted… Structured Water- the way nature intendedMy Profile

    • Wardeh says:

      Alex, you’re so right! We don’t toss ours ever, our spares feed the ducks or goats. I’m not sure if I could eat a scoby. Good for your kids on loving the kefir grains! I know I don’t mind when I find a dairy kefir grain in my glass.

      But you know I wonder about those little bits that rinse down the drain from rinsing out the occasional jar or the bottom of a glass — are they growing in the septic tank?

  15. Cheryl says:

    I read once about people stir-frying their extra scoby’s in strips and eating them that way (or on salads). I marinated mine and fried them up; not bad — not great, but not bad. ;) I bet if you found seasoning that worked for you, you could add it to lots of dishes.

Trackbacks

  1. [...] I shared it with you. I kept up the series for quite some time, and shared some funny stories like scobies gone wild. Sometimes though, the quotes stretched me. Some of them had a political or scientific bent, which [...]

  2. [...] the story I read about someone flushing their old scobys down the toilet and having them grow and fill her septic tank. It seemed like an urban (or rural) myth until I watched my own personal freakazoid creatures [...]

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