Now that I’ve been milking goats for about a month, I can look back and see some very important things I learned. These are the things I would have told myself, had I been able to give myself advice before we started this adventure! 
Some of these are going to *seem* contradictory, but I think the good place to be is somewhere in the balance between those contradictory statements.
- Don’t be timid. The goat will know you’re timid and she won’t let you milk her. Then you’ll give in and she’ll get her way.
- Be willing to lose the milk (kicked bucket, etc.) in order to teach the goat that she is going to be milked, no matter how much kicking, jumping or bucking she does.
- Don’t be hesitant when cleaning the goat’s udder or teats, or when milking. The goat will feel it as a tickle and she’ll be uncomfortable and may kick or jump a bit if she’s being touched as if a fly was on her.
- Use a splash of white vinegar and a dot of dishsoap in warm water to wash the udder and teats prior to milking. Don’t use bleach.
- With a paper towel, pat dry the udder and teats, don’t rub.
- Rub a little castor oil on the teats when milking — to prevent dry, chapped hands, to improve the efficiency of the milking motion, and to prevent friction burn on the teats. (Thank you to Colleen for putting the last part into words for me!)
- Read as many books on the subject of goat milking as you can. Study the diagrams explaining how to milk a goat. Memorize the procedure.
- No matter how many books you read, you’ll never really learn how to milk a goat until you do it for real.
- Sadly, you may have to administer medicines or supplements via a needle and syringe. Don’t think the needle is going to slide in as if she has thin skin like you do. Nope. She has a *hide* and you’re probably going to torture her a bit getting the needle through it. Expect this to be difficult until you get good at administering the doses.
- Start your milking adventure slowly by milking just one goat. This will give you time to get used to it all.
- Get good goat milking experience by milking several goats. This will teach you alot about goat milking in general, by comparison.
- Purchase or choose a milk goat that is already used to being milked. Or buy her when young and not in milk so you can work up to milking over the course of many months.
- Find out what your milking doe is used to eating. Use that type of feed while she adjusts to your farm. After her adjustment, change the feed to what you prefer your animals to eat. Expect her to be picky!
- Buy or build a milk stand (stanchion) that includes a place to put her bowl so she can eat while you milk. Don’t think that a stand is unnecessary. It will help tremendously, if you are a first-time milker.
- Enlist the whole family. Have somebody help you “spot” the bucket. Have someone else man the feed bowl. Have someone else stroke and pat the goat for comfort.
- Build up your milking speed, once you get good at the milking motion. Your goat gets good at eating fast, and once she runs out of feed, she will lose patience for what you are doing and start kicking. (Or she’ll try to sit down on the job to get you off her.)
- Don’t give up milking if your goat has finished eating before you are done milking her. Give her some alfalfa hay or a little bit more feed, just something to nibble on. Show her that you are going to quit when you’re ready, not when she is. (Ha, ha, see if you can win this one every time!)
- Talk to your goat while milking her. Praise her and thank her for sharing her milk with your family. (Or you can sing to her, a suggestion from Sylvia.)
- Touch your goat, by leaning into her, while milking. She loves to be touched and will enjoy being close while she is milked.
- The goat milking pails where the handle insert is spot-welded on are junk. Don’t buy those. Look for a one piece pail that is made in the USA (like these).
I may have more to add to this list… If you are a milker of any sort (goat or cow, newbie or experienced), feel free to add your reflections to this list! I look forward to hearing from your wisdom!
[...] Reflections of 1st Time Goat Milker Posted on June 8, 2009 by Zachary Cohen I just love this list. [...]
I will definately refer back to this when we get a goat one day.
I thought you had ordered a milk pail for Hoegger. Are you saying that is the one that is no good? I have had mine from Hoegger for over 4 years. I have dropped it on concrete numerous times and have had no trouble with it at all. I wonder if it is a fluke……did you call Hoegger about it? I really like theirs because it is shorter and works better for goats than standard milk pails.
SueEllen’s last blog post..In The Kitchen This Week……
SueEllen – Are you talking about the 6 quart half-moon goat milking pail? The first one broke after 5 days and the replacement arrived broken at the same point – at the spot weld. I have talked to them and they are aware of the fault and attribute it to the fact that they can no longer get them manufactured in the USA. You must have one of the USA-made pails. Mine were from India. Their customer service is fantastic; but they couldn’t guarantee it wouldn’t happen again, so I had to find another type of pail, which is the one I linked here. I settled on the 13 quart, but waffled between it and the 9 quart. I figured if I think it is too tall then I will turn it over to cheese-making and try out the 9 quart pail for milking.
Wardeh I am so sorry. Yes I guess since mine is older it must be the USA one. At least they were nice about it. That must be so frustrating for you and for Hoegger.
I do have the half moon lid but I never use it. I purchased a full lid to cover the pail to and from the milking shed. When I first started milking there was no way I could aim for that little hole……probably still couldn’t but I have not tried it.
SueEllen’s last blog post..In The Kitchen This Week……
SueEllen – that is funny – I tried one morning to aim for that little hole and gave up!
That’s one reason I am content to go with the other pails. At first I thought I needed the half moon lid so I could keep the pail covered while milking. I ordered a full lid with my 13 quart bucket. Can’t wait until it gets here! Will be here on Friday and I’ll be out there waiting for the UPS man. 
Yes, Hoegger was VERY nice about it all and it was clear to me that they are frustrated, too. If I were them, I wouldn’t sell the pail at all now. It is not trustworthy. I am glad for you that you got a USA made one.
Got 3 doe’s all three should deliver late June 2009. I haven’t milked goats or cows in about 45 years SO I am having to relearn things I once knew. Grin.
I did look on the internet and found a milking stand that I liked so I made me one based on the pictures. Seems to work well. Feeding my goats on the stand now so they know what to except later on.
Enjoyed your information and refreshed my memory..
Pobept – I took a look at your stand, it looks very good and strong! I have a feeling that your milking technique will come back in an instant. It is great you have that experience!
I was extremely disappointed with the pail I ordered from Hoegger’s. The weld was broken when I received it and it was not even a true milking pail. It was intended to be a pet water pail! I returned it, but have not received a response yet.
Pam – That is really disappointing. I think you should give them a call. I found them to be very helpful when confronted with customer dissatisfaction. The pail I ended up buying (and liking) is from http://homesteadersupply.com. I have the 13 quart, which is quite large, but fits well underneath a full-size goat’s udder. The 9-quart would work well, too, I think. These pails are made in the USA and the best part is – no welds! Please let me know what happens with your pail and getting a refund.